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  • Love: Guest Post.

    4th June 2012. Guest Post on Brenda Mccreight's Blogspot

    Hello Everyone.

    I’d like to start by thanking Brenda for letting me do a guest blog today.

    I really wasn’t sure what to write about today so I decided to go with a topic everyone can relate to. Love.

    Dark Genesis is, in essence, a love story and is narrated by Luna, a slave living in Mississippi in 1807. When we meet her she is so dehumanised by her experiences that she has spent most of her life keeping others at a distance. So when she falls in love with a vampire, it is an unexpected and frightening experience for her. But she loves him deeply despite the fact that everything she has been taught flies in the face of that love. For example, his race, the fact that he is no longer human and is someone who has killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people.

    The love these two characters have for each other is intense and unconditional. And maybe I’ve turned into a bit of a cynic in my old age, but I’m not so sure that kind of love exists in the real world. And even if it does, is it healthy to love another person unconditionally?

    I believe that a mother and father’s love should always be unconditional. Luna’s mother was sold away from Luna when she was three. She eventually finds a way to get back to Mississippi to be near her daughter although she only sees her roughly four times over the years. So her daughter is, in effect, a stranger but that doesn’t stop her from loving Luna deeply.

    But when it comes to relationships and friendships, conditions should be placed on your love. If you’re in a relationship and someone is abusive, is it love when you stay with them? No. I remember watching the British equivalent of the Jerry Springer show in which a female guest who was in an abusive relationship had decided to have a child in the hopes that it would change her partner’s violent behaviour. Naturally, the host asked the critical question: Why would you stay with this man and bring a child into such an abusive environment? Her answer was that she loved him.

    Now I was watching that and thinking: that’s not love. In my mind, when you genuinely love someone you want them to be the best that they can be. If someone is behaving badly in a relationship and you stay, your actions tell them loud and clear that their behaviour is acceptable. The only way they’ll see that it isn’t is if there’s a negative consequence as a direct result of their actions. Hopefully that will be enough for them to address their issues and become a better person for it. That is love

    Everyone needs boundaries and I believe you should set boundaries for yourself and the people you care for.

    Apart from your children, the only person who should have your unconditional love is you. You can’t really love anyone else the way they should be loved if you don’t see anything worth loving in yourself.

    I hope you all have a good day and take the time to appreciate the people you love and care about.

    ADK x

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